Will I ever get decent Mexican food again??!!

I love Mexican food. There's very little of it to be found in my immediate local, so I usually end up making my own, which can be a lengthy process. Since I was going to Chicago, a place known for some great Mexican restaurants, my hopes soared. And then they quickly crashed. For a number of reasons, I did not get any Mexican while I in the Windy City.
But on my visit (that very same week) to Hoboken, NJ, there were a few Mexican places on Washington St. (the main drag). We picked a place called East LA. It was one of the most horrible dining experiences I have ever had.

• The place was dimly lit. Usually this can be a sign of ambience...for us, it could have meant a few things: a)stay away, there's nothing good to see here OR b) Good thing it's dark, because you can't see how dirty the place really is.
• The waiter was clueless about service. He was backed up by a really experienced waitress who was holding down the fort. Even though there were only a few patrons, that still looked like a big job for one woman.
• The "margaritas that people rave over" made it to us while our companions were almost on their second drink round, and it was July, and it was hot. Really hot. When they arrived, it was clear that the reason people rave is because they get so sloshed on the added schnapps that the taste of the chemical slushee gets disguised. Yuck.
• Not only was the guacamole flavorless, as soon as it hit my tongue, I got the tell-tale sign that it was literally spoiled. If it "sizzles" on your tongue, like an electrocuted piece of pineapple, don't eat it or Montezuma won't be the only one getting revenge.
• 50% of The Mister's beef fajita was burned beyond being edible. Nuff said.
• Even after (maybe especially) sending back the guacamole, the chicken and other ingredients on my plate were just not fresh tasting. Let's face it. We've all eaten leftovers of all shapes, sizes and ages from our refrigerators. When something isn't fresh, you really do know the difference. You just shouldn't be expected to pay for it, let alone eat it.
• The waiter continued to be clueless and just chose to avoid our table, one of two occupied in the whole place.

Believe it or not, even as little as a few months ago, I would have suffered through this meal. I might have eaten it and denied my own thoughts (even though I have been cooking professionally for over 25 years). I might have not eaten it, but I would have never said a word to the server. But, thankfully, those days seem to be over. I am not willing to a) put something in my body that is less than tasty; b) take a risk of getting sick from someone else's poor food service and sanitation practices; c) pay good money that I've worked really hard to earn for food that someone else is trying to pawn off as good when it's surely not.  And neither should you.
In the end, the waitress ended up taking almost everything off the bill. When I got home, I looked at the receipt more clearly. Everything was taken off except the drinks and get this...the original offending guacamole. Oh, the irony of it all.

Who's the Cake Boss?

My son really wants to go to college at a school located in Hoboken. He's going to be a junior in high school, so we thought this was a perfect time to start visiting institutes of higher learning. And, what's really important when you're visiting a college in Hoboken? Noticing the splendid view of Manhattan and trying to sneak a visit to Carlo's Bakery in, while you're at it. Carlo's Bakery has been made famous by the television show, Cake Boss.

Truthfully, we rarely watch the show in my house because I cannot stand the staged drama. For example, who, in their right mind, would assign a brand-new, 18-yr.-old employee to transport a wedding cake by himself? Only someone who enjoys broadcasting the drama of the cake being dropped several stories down the service stairs. Makes me wanna breathe into a paper bag.

But, I couldn't resist the opportunity for adventure and a taste of the baked goods to see if the idea meets reality. As we approached, I felt pretty excited! The line was not long! Ohhh, but wait. That's just the roped-off line in front of the actual store. The "real" line, was located down the block, in front of the CVS. You had to get a ticket there (from the fabulous Mike--so helpful!) and wait until the line in front of the store moved INTO the store. Estimated time to get into store: 1 hour and 30 minutes. We figured we'd try it out, we could always jump out of line. As the Mister waited in line, I tried a different approach...
I really just wanted to look inside the store, so I tried without getting in line. When I climbed the stairs into the store, I was stopped by the "doorman" (read: bouncer) who was in his very early 20s. He wouldn't let me in, even after I explained that I was a professional and I just wanted to look. He told me that he would get in trouble for letting me in and they would know because "the cameras are watching." So, back to the line I went and I waited.

The girl in line in front of us was already holding a Carlo's box. "Why," I asked her, "are you standing in line, again?" She had just come from the factory (or kitchen), not the bakery. She explained that she had purposely made the trip to Hoboken, with family who were going to be in the area for another event. She tagged along and created her very own Cake Boss Adventure. That included a "cake decorating lesson". She's an experienced cake-decorating hobbyist and thought it would be fun. So, she went to the lesson, held at the factory in the Lackawanna Center (Grove St., Hoboken). Did she learn a lot? No. She received a pre-iced layer cake, to which she applied fondant (she did roll that) and fondant cut-outs (that she cut out). The 2-hour class was "taught" by an apprentice who had just won one of Buddy's spin-off shows. Cost: $125.

Mauro, making an appearance in the packed bakery.

But...back to the bakery... 

Once inside, the place is jam-packed like sardines in olive oil. Youngsters who are generally less-than-enthusiastic take your order and meet you at the register with it (Count on adding another 1/2 hour to your trip). You've either got to be really crafty at juggling the crowd to see into the cases or not afraid to take your time in the frenetic space that is Carlo's and ask a lot of questions, both difficult tasks. It's hard to hear the server, hard to see the goods and, by the way, NOTHING is labeled with prices. Kind of less-than-friendly. If you've grown up in NJ, you might not be as sensitive to this, but in my opinion, the Buddy Valastro of Cake Boss TV belies the personality of his actual place of business.

Our order and their reviews:
3 Lobster Tails @ $3.50 each...maybe a little pricey, for an everyday treat, but fine and tasty ($10.50)
6 Sprinkle Tarralli (a dry, "coffee cookie")...meh.                                                                       ($4.10)
Dark Mousse mini cake...melted (our fault), generally tasty but it was overpriced at                ($6.50)
1/4 lb. sesame cookies...again, not too sweet, tiny in size, really delicious because I love sesame!
                                                                                                                                                      (3.40)
2 pignoli meringues. These bad boys are about 2 1/2 inches around and were the hit of my day.
They almost felt like a bargain, respectively.                                                                                (2.40)
And a Vanilla Cupcake. I had to taste the cake. The cake itself was delicious and did not taste like it was from a mix. It had a fine, tight crumb and a good flavor. Priced fine at                                (2.25)

So, for about 30 bucks and a few hours, I'm glad we experienced the reality of Cake Boss. I won't clamber to get back in the store, but I don't feel like it was time wasted.