The Yes Men Team

I had heard that he would be at the wedding. The mysterious, foreign stranger I had heard bits and pieces about; my younger niece's friend. "He's so charming." "And tall. He's very tall."

I saw him standing, all alone, against a wall, after I exited the receiving line. He looked dumbstruck when I stuck out my hand and said, "You must be Martin. I am Aunt Jewels." The rest of our first conversation revolved around the differences between American wedding cake and cake served in his home country of England. We hit it off then and haven't looked back since.

We have a complex and strange and wonderful connection. Better than siblings, better than family, less intense than paramours, we are friends and confidantes. Long distance pen pals. He tells me some of his secrets. I tell him some of mine.

I am smart enough to know that when Martin visits the U.S., his dance card is full, but almost every trip he and my niece have included me/us in their plans. I am honored with the precious gift of time from these world-travelling young people, whom I imagine would rather be dancing and hobnobbing with their contemporaries than sitting around on a Saturday night with Auntie J.

Martin gave me advanced notice of this visit. It came upon me quickly. From afar, I watched his time here (he stays in Philadelphia-two hours away) whittle away as I prepared my children for the new school year. I mournfully resigned myself to the fact that I would miss seeing him this time.

And then my cell phone rang yesterday. It was my niece, (and Martin!!) calling to say that Martin could be spared from visiting her at work, and although it was late notice, he was available to visit. Martin was willing to drive 2 hours each way to visit with me for a total of 3 hours. When was the last time a boy drove that long to see me for such a short time?? And I almost said no.

We talked about that. I'm great at being a friend, but still getting better at making friends. Getting over the hump is difficult for me. The hump of seeing him in the driveway, figuring out the perfect amount of entertaining versus relaxing and hanging out. But once we got that out of the way, our time together flew. I have no problem saying yes to adventure. I am working on becoming a better Yes Man to everyday living.
I had set aside the day to can 30 pounds of tomato sauce. As it turns out, Martin would have been thrilled to do that (next time, I promise!). Instead, we ate some of the best pizza in New Jersey and then went to Mackey's Orchard for peaches and sweet corn and peach ice cream. We talked about hopes and dreams and literal and figurative plans for the days to come and the beauty of the United States and up-and-coming Bulgaria. I watched him eat a whole bowl of my refrigerator pickles and sent him home with a jar of last year's sauce and this year's pickled okra for his martinis (and more refrigerator pickles).

Yes, Martin is very tall. And who the heck is that guy in the background?!

I had some very important lessons driven home for me today:

Make the window! (that's kitchen-talk for Seize the Day.) There are lots of unknowns in life, pick the produce when it's ripe, even if you're not quite sure what you're going to make from it.

When given with the best of intentions, what you have to offer is good enough. I was so concerned about offering Martin best Warren County experience. It took about 10 minutes for me to remember that when you're with friends, none of that really, truly matters.

New Jersey peaches (and ice cream) taste sweeter when you eat them with a friend.

Let go and love. You can sort the rest out later. I'm talking to you.

Saying goodbye is harder than saying hello. It is certainly harder than being a Yes Man.

Have fun, my friend. But come home safe. and soon.